A Haze of Humour:

"The haze was so bad at the TCS Stars Awards 97 that I thought the winner
of the best actor category was chef Martin Yan."
(Winner Christopher Lee appeared at the awards in an apron).

Newscaster on TV news:"The latest PSI reading is 122 or was it 211.
... Err, sorry, it's so hazy I can't see the PSI level!"

Motorists in Singapore are anxious to know about the PSI readings because if
the haze gets really bad, they do not need to buy the ALS to get into the CDB.

In London, the hottest song is "Candle in the Wind".
In Singapore, Malaysia and Indonesia, it's "Smoke Gets In Your Eyes".

In the event of a shortage of clinical masks, different bras are used for
varying levels of haze. For PSI 100 to 200 - use A Cup, for 200 to 300
- use B Cup, for 300-400 - use C Cup. If level exceeds 400 - put on the
Maximiser!

The final word:
"OK already lah! Enuff of all these haze jokes.
With the haze so bad, jokes can only choke"

Top 10 signs of a HAZY Singapore:

10. You don't need to use soft-focus filters for outdoor wedding photography.
9. Bus commuters were seen using binoculars to see the number of the SBS buses.
8. The latest fashion in Orchard Road are designer masks.
7. Rumours that bras were being cut into halves to be used as masks.
6. You thought your mum is your girlfriend from 10 metres away.
5. The smoke from a cigarette smells better than the smog from the haze.
4. The newscasters' evening greeting after the 7pm news: Have A Zombie Evening (HAZE).
2. The most popular reason for speeding: "It was so hazy, I thought I was being chased by the paparazzi"
3. Message from the traffic police to motorists: More HAZE, less speed!"
And the No. 1 sign that it's HAZY in Singapore is:
1. The latest greeting from foreigners to Singaporeans: "Haze Singapore!"

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